Pure gold:

It is with a heavy heart that I must put this invaluable relic of culinary excellence up for sale, as there is only so much power that one man can wield for so long. Many moons ago, I unwittingly bought this magical forge of nourishment from a sand swept bazaar named ‘Barbecues Galore’. The gloriously bearded one-armed merchant warned me of untold rewards, that of which I could never fathom at the time. Since that fateful day, I have achieved flight without the use of propulsion, bedded Scarlett Johanssen on the back of a unicorn, and maintained a 100% strike rate when inserting a USB stick. It is now time for someone else to reap the life changing benefits of this mystical contraption of sustenance.

The original link is gone, but Google has cached it here.