Oh, sectumsempra. That is the name I gave to you on that fateful day, right after pondering something that would be appropriate for such a machine of your… nature. I remember how we met — you were there, dressed all in white, and I was there, dressed in blue and black. I remember how badly I wanted one just like you, perhaps even one of your slightly younger sisters…
I remember tossing and turning late at night over the decision that I would come to realise as completely trivial in the grand scheme of things. You were slightly slower, but that didn’t matter. If anything, I would describe you as having matured well. The only thing your sisters really had going for them was a higher upkeep and that youthfulness that so many strive to achieve but few actually do.
The rest, as they say, is history.